So, not really sure why I'm trying out this whole 'blog' thing...guess I'm bored...and curious to see if anyone really reads these things. I'll tell you up front, I have absolutely nothing important to say, so click away now if you had some expectations. What can I tell ya', it's a cool, overcast Saturday in Austin. And Valentine's Day. And I am pleased to have no plans, no expectations of plans, no feelings of guilt for not calling anyone, nothing, 'cause it's that day when every one in my world has someone else to be with. So, to kill some time, I thought I'd come out here and play on-line a little. Stalk some, wave at others, roll my eyes at my own out of date, bad pictures and crappy profile, and be reminded of how non-descript one can be in this virtual world, and how challenging it can be to be unique and interesting. What enlightenment or different perspective could I offer that if nothing else might make someone stop and scratch their head? Hmmm, did you know that every morning a small boat floats down one side and up the other of the Bosphorus River in Instanbul and scoops up the floating trash? Or that the magenta colored rock in the crater of a dead volcano's mouth is so crumbly that crawling out of a deep one is like fighting quick sand? Or that the Spanish conquistadors along the Mexican coast imbedded fan coral in the walls of their structures because bullets got caught in its sponginess? That's the kind of shit that gets caught in my memory banks...all personally experienced by the way. Like I said, nothing important to say or impart, just flashes and snippets of the eye's snapshots over the years to describe.

What IS this thing called jealousy? Other than a disturbing, unsettling bad feeling it literally means to have envy, suspicion, or resentment. But what Webster doesn't tell you is that it stems from fear. Fear of loss, unworthiness, and probably most often, of being unloveable. Being in pursuit or desire of something or someone and seeing someone else get it instead can bring out the worst in us. The trick is to not set yourself up for disappointment or measure yourself or your happiness by this single 'thing'. I'm not saying "don't have expectations or wants or goals", I'm just saying don't be attached to any outcome. If you find yourself feeling jealous, stop and think about the target and the source. Perhaps it's not about the "prize", but about your own insecurities that you need to address. And certainly if there's been a journey in pursuit of this "prize" that got out of reach or unattainable for you, consider that maybe it just wasn't meant to be yours in the big universal picture. Perhaps it was just the carrot that lured you through a journey during which you may have picked up a valuable lesson or insight, or two. Lift your head, reflect, and look around, you may not be in Kansas anymore.

Peace and light,
MD